21. It is one thing, however, to love the neighbour from the good or use that is in him towards oneself, and another thing to love the neighbour from the good or use in oneself towards him. To love the neighbour from the good or use towards oneself is what even a bad man can do; but to love the neighbour from the good or use in oneself towards him is what none but a good man can do. For he loves good from good, or he loves use from the affection of use. The difference between these is described by the Lord in Matthew v 42-47.
Many say, I love such a one because he loves me and does good to me. But to love him for that reason only is not to love him interiorly, unless he that so loves is himself principled in good and consequently loves the goodness of the other. The one is in charity; but the other is only in friendship, which is not charity. He who loves the neighbour from charity unites himself with the good of the neighbour, and not with his person except so far and so long as he is principled in good. Such a man is spiritual, and loves the neighbour spiritually. He, however, who loves another from friendship only unites himself with the person and at the same time with his evil. Such a one after death cannot without difficulty be separated from the person who is in evil; but the other can. Charity effects this by means of faith, because faith is truth; and the man who is in charity examines and discovers by means of truth what ought to be loved, and in loving and in conferring benefits he has regard to the nature of the other's use.
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