Conjugial Love (Rogers) n. 318

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318. (1) Whether to marry again after the death of a partner depends on the conjugial love had previously. Truly conjugial love is the balance, so to speak, against which inclinations to remarry are weighed. The nearer the conjugial love had previously is to truly conjugial love, the more removed is an inclination to marry again; whereas the more removed the previous love is from truly conjugial love, the more present usually is an inclination towards remarriage. The reason is clear to see, because conjugial love is in the same measure a conjunction of minds, and the conjunction remains during the bodily life of the one after the passing of the other. This conjunction holds any inclination to remarry in balance as though in a scale, and tips the scale its way to the degree that true love has been embraced. (Though because rarely does anyone today progress more than a few steps towards such a love, therefore the tongue of the balance for the most part rises to the point of equilibrium, and wavering there, goes over to the other side, that is, to the side of remarriage.) [2] The converse is the case with people whose love before in the previous marriage departed from truly conjugial love. That is because a departure from it is in the same measure a disjunction of minds, and the disjunction likewise remains during the bodily life of the one after the passing of the other. This disjunction enters a will estranged from the will of the other and engenders an inclination towards a new union. Thought then in that direction, prompted by an inclination of the will, introduces hope of a more united and thus more congenial cohabitation. [3] It is common knowledge that inclinations to marry again arise in accordance with the state of the love had before; and this reason also sees. For inherent in truly conjugial love is a fear of its being lost, and following its loss, grief - a fear and grief which occupy the innermost recesses of people's minds. Consequently, to the degree these emotions are present as a result of that love, to the same degree the soul, in both thought and will, and so in intention, inclines to remain with the person with whom and in whom it was. It follows from this that the mind is held counterbalanced against a second marriage according to the degree of the love which it had before. So it is that the same partners are reunited after death and love each other again as in the world. However, as indicated above, such a love today is rare, and there are few who touch it with even a finger. People who do not attain it, and still more those who depart far from it - according as they wished for separation in their married life before (which was cold), so after the death of the partner they wish for union with another. But we will say more about these two classes of people in what follows.

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