Conjugial Love (Rogers) n. 320

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320. (3) In the case of people who did not have truly conjugial love, nothing hinders or prevents them from marrying again. In people who did not have conjugial love there is no spiritual or inner bond, but only a natural or outer one; and if an inner bond does not hold the outer one in its order and course, it does not last. It is like a sash with its fastening undone, which slips away with a toss of the shoulders or gust of wind. That is because the natural bond takes its origin from a spiritual one, and in its development is nothing else than an assemblage compiled of spiritual elements. If therefore the natural bond is separated from its spiritual one, which produced it and so to speak gave birth to it, it is no longer held together inwardly but only outwardly, by a spiritual bond which surrounds it and binds it in general, but does not secure it and keep it secured in particular. Consequently, a natural bond separated from a spiritual one between two married partners does not bring about any conjunction of their minds, and so neither of their wills, but only a conjunction of some external affections which are connected with their physical senses. [2] In such cases nothing hinders or prevents the partners from being able to marry again, because the essential ties of marriage are missing in them, and so neither are any present in them after they are separated by death. Therefore they are then at complete liberty to be bound as to their sensual affections with another - if a widower, with any woman, and if a widow, with any man, as they please and as is lawful. They themselves do not think of marriage in anything but natural terms, and in terms of its advantages for the sake of various external necessities and benefits, which after the death of one may be restored again by another person in place of the former. Moreover, if by chance their inner thoughts were to be seen (as they are in the spiritual world), they would be found to make no distinction between conjugial unions and liaisons entered into apart from marriage. [3] People of this sort may marry again and again, for the reason just given, because merely natural conjunctions after death are dissolved of themselves and fade away. For in death external affections follow the body and are buried with it, and only those remain which are connected with internal ones. It must be known, however, that interiorly conjunctive marriages can be entered into with difficulty on earth, because choices based on internal similarities cannot be provided by the Lord there as they are in heaven. For choices on earth are limited in many ways, such as to people one's equals in station and condition, in the area, city or town where one lives; and it is largely external qualities that draw them together there, and thus not internal ones. Internal qualities come out only after a period of marriage, and are known only as they inject themselves into external ones.


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