Arcana Coelestia (Elliott) n. 2742

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2742. Something resembling conjugial love exists with some, but it is not in fact that love if the love of good and truth is not present in those persons. It is a love that seems like conjugial love, but the reasons for it lie in love of the world and self-love, that is to say, so that they may be waited on at home, have no cares, take their ease, be looked after when unwell and growing old, and so that their children whom they love may be cared for. With some this semblance of conjugial love is forced upon them out of fear of their partner, or for their reputation, or of ill fortunes; with some it is the love of licentiousness that induces it. This latter love appears in the early days as if it were conjugial love, for at that time they display something seemingly of innocence, playing about together like young children and feeling a joy as though of heaven. But they do not with the passing of time become more closely united to each other, as those do with whom conjugial love exists, but are becoming set apart. Conjugial love also differs among married couples; with one partner it may be greater or less, with the other little or none. And because of this difference it may for one be heaven, and for the other hell, affection and reception being the determining factors in this.

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